Just returned from my bi-annual dental appointment where two Asian women strap me into a chair, suspend me upside down and procede to torture the hell out of my teeth and gums. I'm not able to follow their conversation as they hack away at the inside of my mouth due to the language barrier.
Strings of unrecognizeable speech interlaced with "ohs!" and "Ahhs!". I did hear on at least two occasions the words "Chinese medicine" spoken. As the instrument of torture sang to the tune of 250k rpm I could barely make out something like blippity blappity blippity Chinese medicine blappity blip oh! blap ahh!
I was also told "you relax, you too tense, I can't reach back of mouth if you tense". "Blippity blappity blippity Chinese medicine blappity blip" and "Don't over shampoo your dog" [not making this up].
So I just hung there, praying that nothing would go wrong. I figured that a slip of the hand and I stood the chance of losing a chunk of my tongue so I remained as rigid and motionless as humanly possible.
One molar located far to the back of my mouth took me to an all new level of pain while it was being cleaned. You're familiar with that, yes? It feels something like a direct pipeline from your tooth to your brain and it's carrying the most unpleasant, high pitched, piercing pain imagineable. Zing! I had to let out an audible grunt with that one but this didn't phase the two mask & smock clad women as they continued with their conversation about, presumeably, Chinese medicine.
When all came mercifully to an end and I was set upright in my seat, a sense of euphoria overcame me as it often does. I don't know if it's because the blood is rushing out of my head or if the amount of pain and tension I experience during such a procedure finally gives way to comfortable bliss.
I'm glad I went. I'm glad it's over. I'm happy to report there were no issues.
SWARTHOS - out
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