New Year

My dear friends, the time has come to arm ourselves for the new year. For we are living in a world where chaos reigns and the law is nothing but a distant memory. I have prepared myself for the coming days with firearms, ammo, and an abundance of drugs and alcohol. These are the essentials for surviving in the land of the lost, La La Land, the city of angels.

Just today, my beloved shopping mall, Del Ammo, was under attack by a band of ruthless hoodlums. It seems they have no fear and no respect for the law. They roam the streets with violence on their minds, robbing and terrorizing innocent civilians. But fear not, for I am ready. My firearms are locked and loaded, waiting for any potential threats. Bring it on, I say. My home is my fortress and I will defend it with every ounce of my being.

But guns alone are not enough. In this wild and unpredictable world, one needs something to calm the nerves and ease the mind. And what better way to do so than with drugs and alcohol? My room is well-stocked with these necessary commodities, for they are a crucial means of survival in these troubled times. After all, what is the point of hoarding guns if your senses are not heightened by a little chemical intervention?

But make no mistake, my friends. Living in this city of angels is not for the faint of heart. It takes a certain kind of grit and determination to survive here. The streets are no longer safe, and the police are too overworked and underpaid to protect us. We must take matters into our own hands and be prepared for whatever may come our way.

It’s not easy living in this concrete jungle, where danger lurks behind every corner. A juvenile was gunned down on my street just weeks ago, and a home invasion took place not two doors down from mine. But I refuse to cower in fear. Instead, I choose to arm myself and face the challenges head-on. That is the only way to survive in this land of chaos.

So, as we enter a new year, I raise my glass to you, my fellow angels. Let us toast to our resilience, our strength, and our unwavering determination to survive in this madness. May our firearms never fail us, and our stash of drugs and alcohol never run dry. For that is all we have in this world – our wits, our weapons, and our will to survive. Happy new year, my friends. Let’s make it out alive.

7ORZ

Every decade, thousands of men gather on the small planet of 7ORZ to take part in a centuries-old tradition – the Offworld 7ORZ Slugfest Celebration. This is no ordinary festival. It’s an all-night, all-day brawling session where alcohol flows freely and the only goal is to brawl and win.

The Offworld 7ORZ Slugfest is one of the most exciting events in the universe. Participants come from all over the galaxy to take part in this post-apocalyptic battle royale.

Persona

 I’m going commando with this post. It’s the penultimate night before the last day of the year. Basically a shitty year, but they’ve all been shitty since most of my family passed away. This isn’t about sorrow or anger even. It’s about who the hell I’m going to be next year? I’ve grown bored with my current persona.

I heard Walmart might have some vending machines inside that dispense personas.  I may just take a walk down there in the coming new year, purchase a new me, maybe a few lotto scratchers while I’m at it as well.

I have no intention of doing this sober. I’ll wear my bodycam, and carry a stun gun on my person. Depending upon the weather I may wear special clothing. There are freaks high on all manner of mind altering drugs lurking between my house and Walmart. And Walmart is no safe haven, I expect to call upon my knowledge of self defense, a two week class back in 1977 is all I ever needed. It was an intense course taught by a Master therefore I am confident. 70 30 – That’s all I need to know.

I also have a roll of undeveloped film that has sat dormant in a camera for over 20 years. I have no idea what will develop. 

Close to the end

 We're getting there... The end of the year that is.  My neighbors next door are painting their house a festive black to commemorate a shitty year.  Good for them.  I say wait until the ozone cracks this summer and the sun beats down to the tune of 110 degrees Fahrenheit, they'll be begging for that lighter shade of pale, especially with a single window-ditioner to keep them cool.

This particular post will only appear here, on the SWARTHOS blogger.  

Digital Alcohol

The world of beer and wine has changed drastically in the digital age. Gone are the days of browsing the aisles of a specialty liquor store, seeking out the perfect bottle or six-pack for the evening ahead. Now, with just a few clicks, I can have a wide selection of libations delivered straight to my doorstep. It’s a convenience that both excites and concerns me, as I wonder how this shift will affect the culture of drinking.

For centuries, alcohol has been a staple of human society. Whether it was a cold beer at the end of a long day’s work or a glass of fine wine to accompany a decadent meal, it has ingrained itself into our daily lives. But now, as we rely more and more on technology, the ritual of purchasing and consuming these beverages has taken a new form.

But hey, who am I to resist progress? I too have fallen victim to the alluring convenience of online ordering. As the sun begins to set on another day, I eagerly await the arrival of my chosen brews and wines. My mind and body are primed for the debauchery that lies ahead. I may not be at my sharpest, but I am certainly ready to be off duty and indulge in the intoxicating pleasures of alcohol.

And let’s not forget the endless possibilities that come with this digital age of drinking. With just a few clicks, I can explore new and exotic flavors from around the world. No longer am I confined to the limited selection of my local store. I am a citizen of the world, with access to an endless supply of libations.

But as I sit here, eagerly waiting for my deliveries, I can’t help but wonder if we are losing something in this technological takeover. Will the art of selecting the perfect bottle or discovering a new favorite brew be lost in this age of convenience? Will we become a society of mindless consumers, lacking the appreciation and attention to detail that comes with the traditional methods of purchasing and enjoying alcohol?

Only time will tell, my friends. But for now, I will embrace the technological advancements that allow me to enjoy my beloved beer and wine with ease. As the clock strikes sundown, I’ll raise a glass to the digital age of drinking and see where this journey takes us. Cheers to the future, and let’s see this through, shall we?

Thoughts

Damn this iPad. It’s difficult to blog using one hand to hold the pad and the finger of my other hand to type. I thought I would get creative and produce something on notepad and then copy and paste it into here but alas, I left out an entire paragraph, the opening paragraph in fact and now I’ve lost it all, and I have only this. But I do know that my prior opening paragraph contained the words, stench and flatulence in it. So I’ll sit back and allow the stench of flatulence to wash over me as I consider how to proceed.

As much as I try to escape it, my mind keeps drifting back to my family. The ones I haven’t spoken to in years, the ones who have moved on to the great beyond. How can I even attempt to reach out when they no longer exist in this earthly realm? All that remains is the gaping hole they left behind, a constant reminder of my own mortality.

But here I am, surrounded by comforts and distractions. My dog, the faithful companion, bounces around on the bed, blissfully ignorant of the weight that rests heavy on my shoulders. His only concern is tomorrow morning, and perhaps a trip to the park. I envy his simplicity, his unwavering joy in the present moment.

As the year comes to a close, I find solace in meditation. In quiet contemplation, I try to make sense of it all. I think back to the past weeks, where I indulged in massive amounts of alcohol. To some, it may seem like a destructive coping mechanism. But for me, it’s one of life’s little joys – a liquid that has been approved by the heavens, as long as it’s consumed in moderation.

But what is moderation in the face of chaos? In a world where everything seems to be spiraling out of control, how can we find balance? These are the questions that plague me as I lay here, lost in my own thoughts, surrounded by the calming buzz of my cyberpunk sanctuary.

But as I sit here and reflect on this past year, I can’t help but feel a sense of relief. Relief that this year, with all its trials and tribulations, is finally coming to an end. But also, relief that I made it through. That I survived another year, wiser and battle-hardened.

As I raise my glass to the end of this year, I also toast to a new beginning. A chance to start fresh, to learn from the past and move forward with newfound clarity. And as I drift off to sleep, I can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope for what the future may hold – a future full of endless possibilities, just waiting to be explored.

Germs

I can feel the germs crawling all around me as I sit here, typing away on my keyboard. It’s enough to make a man go mad, or at least heavily intoxicated. The news headlines scream about yet another massive outbreak, spreading like wildfire through the unsuspecting population. And here I am, about to mingle with the masses at a public meeting come second week of January 2024. How did I get myself into this predicament? Who knows. The internet alarmists would say it was fate, but they always have an answer for everything.

I’ve heard it all before, the internet knows more than anyone these days. It knows your deepest desires, your secret fears, and apparently, the ins and outs of a virus that has everyone freaking out. So who am I to argue? I’ll just have to brave the storm and hope for the best. After all, a little risk adds some spice to life.

But I can’t lie, I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about this upcoming meeting. The thought of being trapped in a sea of potentially infected individuals is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat. Lucky for me, I have a well-stocked arsenal of alcohol and drugs to get me through this ordeal. Of course, I’ll have to be careful not to give away my condition. I want to appear happy, not psychotic. Although, some may argue that the two go hand in hand.

Since I’ll be chairing the event I may just start off the meeting by welcoming everyone on behalf of the Blue Sunshine institute of mind-altering drug enhancement. Nothing like a little humor to break the ice before things spiral into chaos. And trust me, they always do. One year, we even had the Mayor of this fine city grace our little pow wow. Unfortunately, I mistook him for the common riff-raff off the streets that usually crash our yearly brain drain. I almost threw his ass out. True story.

But back to the present, with the looming threat of contracting a fatal virus or at least a debilitating one, I am not looking forward to this upcoming affair. But I am a man of my word, and I will not back down from a challenge. However, I will have my trusty companions, drugs and alcohol, by my side. And who knows, maybe by the end of it all, I’ll have some wild and crazy stories to tell.

So keep an eye out for my future update on this microbe warzone, when I emerge from the other side, hopefully unscathed. Until then, I’ll be holed up in my bunker, heavily medicated, waiting for the inevitable chaos to ensue. And when it does, I’ll be ready. Godspeed to anyone who dares to join me. The Blue Sunshine institute welcomes you. Let’s bring this meeting to disorder.

Creative Flow

It’s odd that this is the writing prompt of the day since it was just last night as I lay down for sleep that my mind was flooded with this very question. I forced myself to sit up and grab hold of my iPad so I could write about personal creativity and how it finds me.

So what is that moment when creativity flows? It’s when I’m depressed, when I’m down enough to have something decent to say but still clinging to enough joy so that I find the energy and enthusiasm to write about it.

Gotta milk it, for it comes upon me like that moment just before the climax of a song, when you’ve made it through the melancholy movement and now it’s about to explode. Harness that, but don’t go too far down or too high up, ride the wave between mania and depression. There’s little difference between the two extremes.

24 December

Just finished making my annual video update for the Great Repository. Thought I’d jump in & leave a mark in here as well.

The sun beats down on this urban landscape, its rays bouncing off glass and concrete, creating a hazy aura that hangs over the city like a toxic fog. This is now Los Angeles, a place where the temperature rises with the intensity of the traffic and the skies are tainted with a photochemical hue. It’s Christmas Eve, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at the bustling streets and neon lights. It’s just another night in the City of Angels, where the ghosts of past memories and lost dreams haunt its inhabitants. A memory flashes in my mind, of a different time and place. I was just a boy, sitting in a theater with my father, circa 1970, watching the Scrooge Musical. Oh, what a fine memory it was, and how I long for more moments like that. But alas, life and this city have a way of consuming and forgetting, leaving us with only fragments of the past.

Nothing more to say this evening. Merry Christmas

Trippin'

The year is 2023 and the Winter Solstice has just passed, leaving behind crystal blue skies with a hint of LA Martian red. In this city of glitz and glamour, known as La La Land, you’ll find a mix of freaks and bald-headed psychotic cult leaders from the 70s, still clinging onto their delusions of grandeur.

I remember taking a trip here once, and let me tell you, it was a mind-altering, dopamine-enhancing, beautiful journey. I would trip everywhere I could, from the sacred aisles of the local Target store to my own backyard. I even took a trip while cruising in my car, sketching my way across town at all hours.

But the most surreal trips were the ones I took in the most unusual places. Like that one time in the Stonewood Center Mall, where I rode the escalator into the future’s past and felt the vibration of the universe. And let me tell you, that feeling was something else.

You can still experience it for yourself, if you dare. Just head to the Stonewood Center Mall and ride that escalator. And be sure to bring your camera because you’ll want to capture the magic of this place.

Yes, La La Land may be home to some strange and eccentric characters, but it’s also a place of endless possibilities. Here, anything is possible and reality is just a blurred line. So take that trip, embrace the madness, and let the city of angels guide you on a journey like no other.

Glorious

 

The city of Los Angeles is a beast of its own kind, often described as a concrete jungle where dreams are made and broken. But amidst the hustle and bustle of this metropolis lies a hidden gem – a peaceful paradise where one can escape the chaos and find solace in the embrace of nature. And this morning, I ventured into this oasis with my trusted companion – my four-legged friend who is always ready for an adventure.

Our journey began before the break of dawn, with my loyal companion barking in my face, demanding that I awaken from my slumber. As I begrudgingly opened my eyes and peered at the clock, I realized it was only 6am – not exactly a pleasant hour for most to be up and about. But my furry friend didn’t care about time, he was eager to embrace the day and I was determined to match his enthusiasm.

I suited up with layers upon layers of clothing, bracing myself for the chilly 42 degree weather – a stark contrast to the warmth and sunshine that Los Angeles is known for. But my companion and I aren’t ones to shy away from a challenge, so we ventured out into the crisp morning air.

As we approached the park, I couldn’t help but take in the sights. The crisp morning air, the dewy grass, – it was a sight to behold. We had arrived, and to our delight, we were greeted with an empty park. Just the two of us, ready to take on whatever the day had in store. It was a surreal experience, like we were in our own little world, disconnected from the chaos and noise of the city. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, bathing everything in its warm golden light. We had the entire park to ourselves, and it was nothing short of glorious.

My furry companion and I ran through the park, his barks echoing through the empty space. He sniffed at every bush and tree, marking his territory and claiming this little corner of paradise as his own. We climbed hills, chasing after each other, never tiring, never slowing down.

But our adventure didn’t end there. We foraged along the shoreline of small lakes, the water gently lapping against our feet. I watched in awe as my dog stopped and stared out over the water, savoring every moment, every sensation. And I couldn’t help but feel grateful for this precious moment we were sharing – just the two of us, free from the chaos and stress of city life.

And just like that, our time was up. Reluctantly, we boarded the Jeep, preparing to face the reality of morning rush hour in Los Angeles. But even in the midst of the craziness and chaos of the city, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that I had started my day with a peaceful and rejuvenating escape into nature.

For those who have never experienced a morning like this, I urge you to give it a try. Wake up before the sun rises, and venture into nature with a loyal companion by your side. Trust me, it will be a morning well spent – a moment of peace and tranquility amidst the madness of the city. And who knows, you may just find yourself falling in love with Los Angeles all over again.

Muscle Pull

 

Well well well hell, so said my junior high school colleague. I don’t think they call it junior high anymore, right? I think it’s middle school. It was back in middle school. Someone signed my yearbook “well well well hell” I can’t remember what the rest of it was, but it made an impression on my 13 year old self. That and “Be kind to animals, kiss a monkeys ass”. 

Anyway that was a big digression now I just want to make an entry about how crappy my day has been.

First of all my dog pulled a muscle while playing a game of fetch this morning. He’s OK, I massaged it out of him and let him sit in front of a warm heater and relax. He’s doing pretty good now but I don’t like it when he’s hurt because we spend so much time together and we enjoy our outings together immensely.

Now the company I work for wants to sell a bit of property we’ve had for 20 years, but they don’t want to do it themselves. They want me to represent the company and sell the property and I don’t know a damn thing about it. I don’t care about selling the property, I’m no realtor. So I’m told to call this fella who wants to make an offer on it. 

And so I do and he doesn’t answer so I speak to the machine and leave him a message, and since I don’t have a great vocabulary for selling property, I basically said something to the tune of “we want $360,000 thousand dollars, it’s not negotiable and if you…” and then I didn’t know what to say I just left it like that I said it again, and if you… and so then I repeated the price, it’s $360,000 dollars and I hung up.  At that point I probably should have held the phone to my ass and farted.

That’s how my day went, can I get a right on?  Now I have a really bad case of gas and some heartburn and the company dinner is tomorrow night and I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I don’t even want to go!  I wanna sit home drink beer and wine get drunk and watch the Big Lebowski – out.

Fame

 

It’s been a helluva week, I tell ya. I’m feelin’ a bit down in the dumps, for a few reasons, one of which is the fact that death has a way of bringing a person down. I don’t mean to sound so depressing or dramatic, I didn’t even know these people personally, but it’s hard not to be affected when you hear about the death of a celebrity.

I seen it online, on one of those sites that list all the famous people who have passed on. Rock stars and actors, I’d recognize so many of their names, and I’d seen so many of their movies and listened to their songs. It’s like they’ve been silenced, wiped from existence, all but for the recorded memories.

I then transferred over to a deceased porn actor site. Wow, so many gone. It’s like the percentage of them far outnumbering the percentage of mainstream actors. I suppose fame and fortune no matter how acquired does the same damage to a person, as many were suicide or drug overdose.

Living here in La La Land I feel a connection with celebrity, even though I have none in the least. Still, there is the sense that I walk the same streets, breathe the same air, and view the same horizon as they when standing on my balcony.

But tomorrow is a new day with its troubles and trials. I’m gonna try not to dwell on the past too much, nor think too far ahead in the future. We all have right now, here today and that’s enough to worry about. We all have the potential to be famous, but that’s not something I’m interested in becoming.

In our own way we can do something momentous and memorable, and make our lives worth living. Here’s to the future and all its possibilities.