New Year

My dear friends, the time has come to arm ourselves for the new year. For we are living in a world where chaos reigns and the law is nothing but a distant memory. I have prepared myself for the coming days with firearms, ammo, and an abundance of drugs and alcohol. These are the essentials for surviving in the land of the lost, La La Land, the city of angels.

Just today, my beloved shopping mall, Del Ammo, was under attack by a band of ruthless hoodlums. It seems they have no fear and no respect for the law. They roam the streets with violence on their minds, robbing and terrorizing innocent civilians. But fear not, for I am ready. My firearms are locked and loaded, waiting for any potential threats. Bring it on, I say. My home is my fortress and I will defend it with every ounce of my being.

But guns alone are not enough. In this wild and unpredictable world, one needs something to calm the nerves and ease the mind. And what better way to do so than with drugs and alcohol? My room is well-stocked with these necessary commodities, for they are a crucial means of survival in these troubled times. After all, what is the point of hoarding guns if your senses are not heightened by a little chemical intervention?

But make no mistake, my friends. Living in this city of angels is not for the faint of heart. It takes a certain kind of grit and determination to survive here. The streets are no longer safe, and the police are too overworked and underpaid to protect us. We must take matters into our own hands and be prepared for whatever may come our way.

It’s not easy living in this concrete jungle, where danger lurks behind every corner. A juvenile was gunned down on my street just weeks ago, and a home invasion took place not two doors down from mine. But I refuse to cower in fear. Instead, I choose to arm myself and face the challenges head-on. That is the only way to survive in this land of chaos.

So, as we enter a new year, I raise my glass to you, my fellow angels. Let us toast to our resilience, our strength, and our unwavering determination to survive in this madness. May our firearms never fail us, and our stash of drugs and alcohol never run dry. For that is all we have in this world – our wits, our weapons, and our will to survive. Happy new year, my friends. Let’s make it out alive.