New Year

My dear friends, the time has come to arm ourselves for the new year. For we are living in a world where chaos reigns and the law is nothing but a distant memory. I have prepared myself for the coming days with firearms, ammo, and an abundance of drugs and alcohol. These are the essentials for surviving in the land of the lost, La La Land, the city of angels.

Just today, my beloved shopping mall, Del Ammo, was under attack by a band of ruthless hoodlums. It seems they have no fear and no respect for the law. They roam the streets with violence on their minds, robbing and terrorizing innocent civilians. But fear not, for I am ready. My firearms are locked and loaded, waiting for any potential threats. Bring it on, I say. My home is my fortress and I will defend it with every ounce of my being.

But guns alone are not enough. In this wild and unpredictable world, one needs something to calm the nerves and ease the mind. And what better way to do so than with drugs and alcohol? My room is well-stocked with these necessary commodities, for they are a crucial means of survival in these troubled times. After all, what is the point of hoarding guns if your senses are not heightened by a little chemical intervention?

But make no mistake, my friends. Living in this city of angels is not for the faint of heart. It takes a certain kind of grit and determination to survive here. The streets are no longer safe, and the police are too overworked and underpaid to protect us. We must take matters into our own hands and be prepared for whatever may come our way.

It’s not easy living in this concrete jungle, where danger lurks behind every corner. A juvenile was gunned down on my street just weeks ago, and a home invasion took place not two doors down from mine. But I refuse to cower in fear. Instead, I choose to arm myself and face the challenges head-on. That is the only way to survive in this land of chaos.

So, as we enter a new year, I raise my glass to you, my fellow angels. Let us toast to our resilience, our strength, and our unwavering determination to survive in this madness. May our firearms never fail us, and our stash of drugs and alcohol never run dry. For that is all we have in this world – our wits, our weapons, and our will to survive. Happy new year, my friends. Let’s make it out alive.

7ORZ

Every decade, thousands of men gather on the small planet of 7ORZ to take part in a centuries-old tradition – the Offworld 7ORZ Slugfest Celebration. This is no ordinary festival. It’s an all-night, all-day brawling session where alcohol flows freely and the only goal is to brawl and win.

The Offworld 7ORZ Slugfest is one of the most exciting events in the universe. Participants come from all over the galaxy to take part in this post-apocalyptic battle royale.

Persona

 I’m going commando with this post. It’s the penultimate night before the last day of the year. Basically a shitty year, but they’ve all been shitty since most of my family passed away. This isn’t about sorrow or anger even. It’s about who the hell I’m going to be next year? I’ve grown bored with my current persona.

I heard Walmart might have some vending machines inside that dispense personas.  I may just take a walk down there in the coming new year, purchase a new me, maybe a few lotto scratchers while I’m at it as well.

I have no intention of doing this sober. I’ll wear my bodycam, and carry a stun gun on my person. Depending upon the weather I may wear special clothing. There are freaks high on all manner of mind altering drugs lurking between my house and Walmart. And Walmart is no safe haven, I expect to call upon my knowledge of self defense, a two week class back in 1977 is all I ever needed. It was an intense course taught by a Master therefore I am confident. 70 30 – That’s all I need to know.

I also have a roll of undeveloped film that has sat dormant in a camera for over 20 years. I have no idea what will develop. 

Close to the end

 We're getting there... The end of the year that is.  My neighbors next door are painting their house a festive black to commemorate a shitty year.  Good for them.  I say wait until the ozone cracks this summer and the sun beats down to the tune of 110 degrees Fahrenheit, they'll be begging for that lighter shade of pale, especially with a single window-ditioner to keep them cool.

This particular post will only appear here, on the SWARTHOS blogger.  

Digital Alcohol

The world of beer and wine has changed drastically in the digital age. Gone are the days of browsing the aisles of a specialty liquor store, seeking out the perfect bottle or six-pack for the evening ahead. Now, with just a few clicks, I can have a wide selection of libations delivered straight to my doorstep. It’s a convenience that both excites and concerns me, as I wonder how this shift will affect the culture of drinking.

For centuries, alcohol has been a staple of human society. Whether it was a cold beer at the end of a long day’s work or a glass of fine wine to accompany a decadent meal, it has ingrained itself into our daily lives. But now, as we rely more and more on technology, the ritual of purchasing and consuming these beverages has taken a new form.

But hey, who am I to resist progress? I too have fallen victim to the alluring convenience of online ordering. As the sun begins to set on another day, I eagerly await the arrival of my chosen brews and wines. My mind and body are primed for the debauchery that lies ahead. I may not be at my sharpest, but I am certainly ready to be off duty and indulge in the intoxicating pleasures of alcohol.

And let’s not forget the endless possibilities that come with this digital age of drinking. With just a few clicks, I can explore new and exotic flavors from around the world. No longer am I confined to the limited selection of my local store. I am a citizen of the world, with access to an endless supply of libations.

But as I sit here, eagerly waiting for my deliveries, I can’t help but wonder if we are losing something in this technological takeover. Will the art of selecting the perfect bottle or discovering a new favorite brew be lost in this age of convenience? Will we become a society of mindless consumers, lacking the appreciation and attention to detail that comes with the traditional methods of purchasing and enjoying alcohol?

Only time will tell, my friends. But for now, I will embrace the technological advancements that allow me to enjoy my beloved beer and wine with ease. As the clock strikes sundown, I’ll raise a glass to the digital age of drinking and see where this journey takes us. Cheers to the future, and let’s see this through, shall we?

Thoughts

Damn this iPad. It’s difficult to blog using one hand to hold the pad and the finger of my other hand to type. I thought I would get creative and produce something on notepad and then copy and paste it into here but alas, I left out an entire paragraph, the opening paragraph in fact and now I’ve lost it all, and I have only this. But I do know that my prior opening paragraph contained the words, stench and flatulence in it. So I’ll sit back and allow the stench of flatulence to wash over me as I consider how to proceed.

As much as I try to escape it, my mind keeps drifting back to my family. The ones I haven’t spoken to in years, the ones who have moved on to the great beyond. How can I even attempt to reach out when they no longer exist in this earthly realm? All that remains is the gaping hole they left behind, a constant reminder of my own mortality.

But here I am, surrounded by comforts and distractions. My dog, the faithful companion, bounces around on the bed, blissfully ignorant of the weight that rests heavy on my shoulders. His only concern is tomorrow morning, and perhaps a trip to the park. I envy his simplicity, his unwavering joy in the present moment.

As the year comes to a close, I find solace in meditation. In quiet contemplation, I try to make sense of it all. I think back to the past weeks, where I indulged in massive amounts of alcohol. To some, it may seem like a destructive coping mechanism. But for me, it’s one of life’s little joys – a liquid that has been approved by the heavens, as long as it’s consumed in moderation.

But what is moderation in the face of chaos? In a world where everything seems to be spiraling out of control, how can we find balance? These are the questions that plague me as I lay here, lost in my own thoughts, surrounded by the calming buzz of my cyberpunk sanctuary.

But as I sit here and reflect on this past year, I can’t help but feel a sense of relief. Relief that this year, with all its trials and tribulations, is finally coming to an end. But also, relief that I made it through. That I survived another year, wiser and battle-hardened.

As I raise my glass to the end of this year, I also toast to a new beginning. A chance to start fresh, to learn from the past and move forward with newfound clarity. And as I drift off to sleep, I can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope for what the future may hold – a future full of endless possibilities, just waiting to be explored.

Germs

I can feel the germs crawling all around me as I sit here, typing away on my keyboard. It’s enough to make a man go mad, or at least heavily intoxicated. The news headlines scream about yet another massive outbreak, spreading like wildfire through the unsuspecting population. And here I am, about to mingle with the masses at a public meeting come second week of January 2024. How did I get myself into this predicament? Who knows. The internet alarmists would say it was fate, but they always have an answer for everything.

I’ve heard it all before, the internet knows more than anyone these days. It knows your deepest desires, your secret fears, and apparently, the ins and outs of a virus that has everyone freaking out. So who am I to argue? I’ll just have to brave the storm and hope for the best. After all, a little risk adds some spice to life.

But I can’t lie, I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about this upcoming meeting. The thought of being trapped in a sea of potentially infected individuals is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat. Lucky for me, I have a well-stocked arsenal of alcohol and drugs to get me through this ordeal. Of course, I’ll have to be careful not to give away my condition. I want to appear happy, not psychotic. Although, some may argue that the two go hand in hand.

Since I’ll be chairing the event I may just start off the meeting by welcoming everyone on behalf of the Blue Sunshine institute of mind-altering drug enhancement. Nothing like a little humor to break the ice before things spiral into chaos. And trust me, they always do. One year, we even had the Mayor of this fine city grace our little pow wow. Unfortunately, I mistook him for the common riff-raff off the streets that usually crash our yearly brain drain. I almost threw his ass out. True story.

But back to the present, with the looming threat of contracting a fatal virus or at least a debilitating one, I am not looking forward to this upcoming affair. But I am a man of my word, and I will not back down from a challenge. However, I will have my trusty companions, drugs and alcohol, by my side. And who knows, maybe by the end of it all, I’ll have some wild and crazy stories to tell.

So keep an eye out for my future update on this microbe warzone, when I emerge from the other side, hopefully unscathed. Until then, I’ll be holed up in my bunker, heavily medicated, waiting for the inevitable chaos to ensue. And when it does, I’ll be ready. Godspeed to anyone who dares to join me. The Blue Sunshine institute welcomes you. Let’s bring this meeting to disorder.

Creative Flow

It’s odd that this is the writing prompt of the day since it was just last night as I lay down for sleep that my mind was flooded with this very question. I forced myself to sit up and grab hold of my iPad so I could write about personal creativity and how it finds me.

So what is that moment when creativity flows? It’s when I’m depressed, when I’m down enough to have something decent to say but still clinging to enough joy so that I find the energy and enthusiasm to write about it.

Gotta milk it, for it comes upon me like that moment just before the climax of a song, when you’ve made it through the melancholy movement and now it’s about to explode. Harness that, but don’t go too far down or too high up, ride the wave between mania and depression. There’s little difference between the two extremes.

24 December

Just finished making my annual video update for the Great Repository. Thought I’d jump in & leave a mark in here as well.

The sun beats down on this urban landscape, its rays bouncing off glass and concrete, creating a hazy aura that hangs over the city like a toxic fog. This is now Los Angeles, a place where the temperature rises with the intensity of the traffic and the skies are tainted with a photochemical hue. It’s Christmas Eve, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at the bustling streets and neon lights. It’s just another night in the City of Angels, where the ghosts of past memories and lost dreams haunt its inhabitants. A memory flashes in my mind, of a different time and place. I was just a boy, sitting in a theater with my father, circa 1970, watching the Scrooge Musical. Oh, what a fine memory it was, and how I long for more moments like that. But alas, life and this city have a way of consuming and forgetting, leaving us with only fragments of the past.

Nothing more to say this evening. Merry Christmas

Trippin'

The year is 2023 and the Winter Solstice has just passed, leaving behind crystal blue skies with a hint of LA Martian red. In this city of glitz and glamour, known as La La Land, you’ll find a mix of freaks and bald-headed psychotic cult leaders from the 70s, still clinging onto their delusions of grandeur.

I remember taking a trip here once, and let me tell you, it was a mind-altering, dopamine-enhancing, beautiful journey. I would trip everywhere I could, from the sacred aisles of the local Target store to my own backyard. I even took a trip while cruising in my car, sketching my way across town at all hours.

But the most surreal trips were the ones I took in the most unusual places. Like that one time in the Stonewood Center Mall, where I rode the escalator into the future’s past and felt the vibration of the universe. And let me tell you, that feeling was something else.

You can still experience it for yourself, if you dare. Just head to the Stonewood Center Mall and ride that escalator. And be sure to bring your camera because you’ll want to capture the magic of this place.

Yes, La La Land may be home to some strange and eccentric characters, but it’s also a place of endless possibilities. Here, anything is possible and reality is just a blurred line. So take that trip, embrace the madness, and let the city of angels guide you on a journey like no other.

Glorious

 

The city of Los Angeles is a beast of its own kind, often described as a concrete jungle where dreams are made and broken. But amidst the hustle and bustle of this metropolis lies a hidden gem – a peaceful paradise where one can escape the chaos and find solace in the embrace of nature. And this morning, I ventured into this oasis with my trusted companion – my four-legged friend who is always ready for an adventure.

Our journey began before the break of dawn, with my loyal companion barking in my face, demanding that I awaken from my slumber. As I begrudgingly opened my eyes and peered at the clock, I realized it was only 6am – not exactly a pleasant hour for most to be up and about. But my furry friend didn’t care about time, he was eager to embrace the day and I was determined to match his enthusiasm.

I suited up with layers upon layers of clothing, bracing myself for the chilly 42 degree weather – a stark contrast to the warmth and sunshine that Los Angeles is known for. But my companion and I aren’t ones to shy away from a challenge, so we ventured out into the crisp morning air.

As we approached the park, I couldn’t help but take in the sights. The crisp morning air, the dewy grass, – it was a sight to behold. We had arrived, and to our delight, we were greeted with an empty park. Just the two of us, ready to take on whatever the day had in store. It was a surreal experience, like we were in our own little world, disconnected from the chaos and noise of the city. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, bathing everything in its warm golden light. We had the entire park to ourselves, and it was nothing short of glorious.

My furry companion and I ran through the park, his barks echoing through the empty space. He sniffed at every bush and tree, marking his territory and claiming this little corner of paradise as his own. We climbed hills, chasing after each other, never tiring, never slowing down.

But our adventure didn’t end there. We foraged along the shoreline of small lakes, the water gently lapping against our feet. I watched in awe as my dog stopped and stared out over the water, savoring every moment, every sensation. And I couldn’t help but feel grateful for this precious moment we were sharing – just the two of us, free from the chaos and stress of city life.

And just like that, our time was up. Reluctantly, we boarded the Jeep, preparing to face the reality of morning rush hour in Los Angeles. But even in the midst of the craziness and chaos of the city, I couldn’t help but smile, knowing that I had started my day with a peaceful and rejuvenating escape into nature.

For those who have never experienced a morning like this, I urge you to give it a try. Wake up before the sun rises, and venture into nature with a loyal companion by your side. Trust me, it will be a morning well spent – a moment of peace and tranquility amidst the madness of the city. And who knows, you may just find yourself falling in love with Los Angeles all over again.

Muscle Pull

 

Well well well hell, so said my junior high school colleague. I don’t think they call it junior high anymore, right? I think it’s middle school. It was back in middle school. Someone signed my yearbook “well well well hell” I can’t remember what the rest of it was, but it made an impression on my 13 year old self. That and “Be kind to animals, kiss a monkeys ass”. 

Anyway that was a big digression now I just want to make an entry about how crappy my day has been.

First of all my dog pulled a muscle while playing a game of fetch this morning. He’s OK, I massaged it out of him and let him sit in front of a warm heater and relax. He’s doing pretty good now but I don’t like it when he’s hurt because we spend so much time together and we enjoy our outings together immensely.

Now the company I work for wants to sell a bit of property we’ve had for 20 years, but they don’t want to do it themselves. They want me to represent the company and sell the property and I don’t know a damn thing about it. I don’t care about selling the property, I’m no realtor. So I’m told to call this fella who wants to make an offer on it. 

And so I do and he doesn’t answer so I speak to the machine and leave him a message, and since I don’t have a great vocabulary for selling property, I basically said something to the tune of “we want $360,000 thousand dollars, it’s not negotiable and if you…” and then I didn’t know what to say I just left it like that I said it again, and if you… and so then I repeated the price, it’s $360,000 dollars and I hung up.  At that point I probably should have held the phone to my ass and farted.

That’s how my day went, can I get a right on?  Now I have a really bad case of gas and some heartburn and the company dinner is tomorrow night and I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I don’t even want to go!  I wanna sit home drink beer and wine get drunk and watch the Big Lebowski – out.

Fame

 

It’s been a helluva week, I tell ya. I’m feelin’ a bit down in the dumps, for a few reasons, one of which is the fact that death has a way of bringing a person down. I don’t mean to sound so depressing or dramatic, I didn’t even know these people personally, but it’s hard not to be affected when you hear about the death of a celebrity.

I seen it online, on one of those sites that list all the famous people who have passed on. Rock stars and actors, I’d recognize so many of their names, and I’d seen so many of their movies and listened to their songs. It’s like they’ve been silenced, wiped from existence, all but for the recorded memories.

I then transferred over to a deceased porn actor site. Wow, so many gone. It’s like the percentage of them far outnumbering the percentage of mainstream actors. I suppose fame and fortune no matter how acquired does the same damage to a person, as many were suicide or drug overdose.

Living here in La La Land I feel a connection with celebrity, even though I have none in the least. Still, there is the sense that I walk the same streets, breathe the same air, and view the same horizon as they when standing on my balcony.

But tomorrow is a new day with its troubles and trials. I’m gonna try not to dwell on the past too much, nor think too far ahead in the future. We all have right now, here today and that’s enough to worry about. We all have the potential to be famous, but that’s not something I’m interested in becoming.

In our own way we can do something momentous and memorable, and make our lives worth living. Here’s to the future and all its possibilities.

Bowling

 Day after day I find myself meandering around the house, bouncing off the walls in search of something -- anything -- that will remind me of what I'm doing with my life. I guess juicing some cucumbers was something, but I'm not sure if that's really making a difference in terms of improving my health.

All I know is that this weekend I'm popping the cork and downing a few. Gawd knows I'm gonna need it. They're saying there's a canine virus spreading across the country that's got me a bit concerned, but my pup doesn't seem to worry about it, I'll do the worrying for him. Ain't nothing better than having someone to worry about the bad. No more parks for awhile, we'll stick to the concrete gated confines of the company plant.

It's also worth mentioning that I had a mild ass-kicking today. Even better? The dude who was supposed to give me a break on this particular 15 day shift never showed up, so here I am stuck in the same place for another 12 hours.

On the bright side, I did manage to consolidate my blogs, set them up so's I could get things in order. Time will tell how this'll turn out.

Random thought: I miss going to the movies and bowling. Should I combine the two? Maybe. Bowling inside a movie theater or a movie inside a bowling alley? Now that's the kind of shindig I want. Someone pass me a beer and when I'm good and tuckered out, just sling me over your shoulder and carry me back home. My house is just up the street and over yonder. - out

Loner

 

9:29pm — the night bloomed alive, sizzling with the soft blue aura of an intense cyberpunk vibe. I could feel the darkness cackling with delight and knew what has to be done.

I had to stock up on the goods, and soon – not tomorrow, not later – right then and there. I had to do something– to drown my need for sobriety was the only accurate answer.

But impatience got out of hand. A creature of some sorts had infiltrated my backyard, making my loyal canine companion lose it. He didn’t enjoy the thought of some other four-legged beast muscled up to his turf, so of course, I convinced him to remain inside and suggested a good night’s sleep.

The burden of silence had surrounded my soul once again. Sometimes I felt the need to break out of this lonesome lifestyle of mine but then I remembered; loneliness is what was keeping me sane. The silence of my torment slithers up and down my spine, a powerful jolt of peace whispering in my ears. I write about it, or I rant and cover those stories up in meaningless jibber jabber into the recorder.  What’s the point? Who would care?

But then I remember, life is precious. Keeping it crisp and clear is the goal. The silver lining of a clear night sky, the thundering sound of my dog’s bark, and the occasional bright flicker of the electronic voice recorder I use like a captain’s log in a strange cosmic universe.  

Sometimes I post my recordings on the web as part of a legitimate communication, other times I dump it into the depths of the cyber dimension, a trash heap podcast I call slime skull of snot. That’s what makes me feel alive. That’s what makes me care enough to never give anything up. That’s more than enough.

Alcohol. That’s all I need to make things right. A bottle or two should satisfy my thirst. I go off duty tomorrow, happily trading independence for retoxication.

Live fast, live alone, and stay alive. Yeah, that’s my mantra and I’m sticking to it.

Elixir

 It’s a day like any other in my rambunctious world, one that I’ve created for myself from a strange intersection of old-fashioned adventures and cutting-edge internet culture. I feel my heart pumping as I anticipate the feeling that comes from the elixir, freshly-squeezed from the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. Carrots and celery are the prime ingredients that will ignite my fire today, and my mind races with thoughts of life and death and of the real power we can harness from the power of plants.

But I cannot stay in this heady world for too long, as I must also prepare what will become a most potent concoction of black and green tea. I already guzzled twelve cups of coffee this morning, mucho caffeine coursing through my veins, so this tea will be the acidic yang to the caffeine yin, the perfect balance that I need to remain optimally alert for the journey that is about to begin.

A sharp inhale serves me with the truth of the ritual I’m bound to, and my feet quickly trace the path to the kitchen, where I make the finishing touches on the potion. Pouring a scoop of protein powder into the liquid and adding in a hint of vitamin C, I down the liquid like a cool elixir of knowledge and strength.

Ah, yes, the Casa Caffeinated Cyber Cult. A Sultan of an online existence with piles of wisdom and wit of all kinds. That’s why I’m here, a digital man in search of the secrets of digital enlightenment.

And so it goes, this endless loop of life and death and coffee and tea, an improvised haiku of sorts. The storm clouds are rolling in outside, but from this day on, I’ll remain inside, capturing all of the energy I can from the eternal matrix, and brewing it all with this, my homemade elixir of the gods.

Fare you well, dear reader. May my journey provide you with at least some kind of fodder for thought. That’s my main purpose here: to provide a little glimmer of something that will linger in your mind so long as the caffeine in my cup.

Now I must be off, elixir in hand, to explore the darkest corners and the sunniest shores of the online world. Out!

Ass Kicking

Today was one of those days. You know the kind – the kind that doesn’t offer up any real inspiration. The sky was a dusky blue, and there was a slight warm breeze carrying the sweet scent of California in through my open window. The fronds of the palms trees were moving easily as if they had been choreographed for some mid-90s LA noir movie – and so I decided to capture the moment.

Enter my most prized (and inexpensive) piece of tech: the cheap-ass Vivitar 503HD, dropped multiple times and now held together with hot-glue and scraps of metal. No worry, after all I purchased it for a mere $20 on eBay. You can buy almost anything online these days – I’ve even seen a man’s soul listed for sale. I passed on the opportunity to buy a soul (‘no need,’ I told myself) as well as another that offered a contract for ‘one complete ass-kicking’ (‘I get enough of those every day,’ I reasoned).

Golden sunlight was reflecting against the pale wall beside me, and so I whipped out my trusty Vivitar and starting recording. But then the sun eventually set, and the moment was gone.

Tomorrow it will start again. Maybe this time I’ll find something of meaning – something I can keep. Until then, I’m just one of many, left to drift through life’s vastness and the grand scheme of things.

Peace out.

Universal Language

 

The buildings sending out their frequency, the universal language of energy.

The late afternoon in LA is my sanctuary, my cocoon. I’m sitting in a little cafe, typing another post for my blog. The sunlight reflects off the buildings and the sound of cars roaring by is the only noise. I love this place, the vibrancy of life seemingly contained in the four walls of this little cafe.

I’m writing too many, too soon, but how can I not? The inspiration is here, now. I know if I don’t take this opportunity to type and create, I’ll miss out and it’ll be lost forever. I know I’m at my best when my fingers start working the keyboard. No pen and paper for me. No thought out structure. Just taking it one key at a time, and living in the moment. This is my conduit and catalyst for creativity.

I sit here, in the golden light of the late afternoon, feeling the energy of the city. I can feel the sun heating up the pavement outside and the wind blowing in through the open window. It’s alive out there, and I can feel it. The people bustling about, the high-rises looming in the background, the planes looming low as they make their descent into the nearby airport.

The concrete buildings, the glass windows, the blue sky – it all speaks to me as the music of life. I can feel the collective pulse of the city, alive and throbbing with energy and possibility. I have no choice but to be part of it, to take it in, and allow it to flow through me.

So I write, because it’s the only way I know. I feel lost if I’m away for too long, so I sit here and type, letting the city live through me for a few moments. I’m here to capture the energy of the universal language, and then fall back into my cocoon of late afternoon Los Angeles.

Late Afternoon

 

The sun is slowly sinking into the Pacific. I wander the streets, feet crunching beneath me. A dry heat fills the air, and I take it in. This is a city of dreams and ambition, of iconic characters who influence generations. I don’t mind being overlooked, I fit in with the street vendors, the homeless, the tired workers pouring out of office buildings. Amidst the chaos, I find peace.

I stroll, unafraid. I make my way through the city, passing a jogger here, and a dog-walker there. Past the familiar graffiti and bright murals. For a moment, I feel a sense of belonging, that I’m part of this vibrant structure, part of the ebb and flow of everyday life. In the distance, I see the orange sky, framed by the silhouettes of tall buildings, and I smile. The late afternoon in Los Angeles is my favorite time of day.

Morning Chaos

 

As I drove through the desolate streets of Lost Angeles, home of the long forgotten Kmart, I was basked in the inferno of the early morning sun, the radiating red glow of its flames providing a feeling of solace from the darkness of the night. Through the orange tinted glass of my Jeep, I could see the police 4×4 quickly accelerating onto the 91 freeway, only moments before I saw the ominous electronic billboard that sharply declared that the Eastbound lane of the 91 freeway had been blocked off due to an accident. I therefore took the exit off of Cherry St., my faithful dog at my side, and began to make my way North.

The streets here were familiar to me, I could feel the phantoms of Kmart and family restaurants looming in the air around me. But, much to my chagrin, those places I had grown to love in my youth had been replaced by barren land seemingly up for lease. The journey, however, was about to take an unexpected and more frantic turn. I was close by my homestead when suddenly the entire road was blocked off by a swat team action scene as if some kind of grisly event had taken place. I swerved around the happening and check my rearview mirror to find some suicidal malcontent slow walking against a red light, defiantly staring me down as I drove by with my faithful dog in tow. I drove off and back to my humble abode, a sense of urgency now racing through my veins.

Not long after all this, I find myself reflecting on Sunday morning in the city of Angels. Despite being surrounded in moments of chaos and uncertainty, I was still overcome with an immense feeling of solace, as if maybe, just maybe, this place was still safe. Though times have changed and things have gone, here I was, back in the ever changing Lost Angeles.

Spare Rib

 

Yesterday, I spent my time wisely. I gathered together an eclectic mix of music to motivate me on the morning drives I take with my faithful canine companion as we head to our favorite Park. 70s rock, 80s power ballads, 90s bubble gum and even some orchestral numbers and a hint of gospel and country. I loaded up my USB drive and blared the songs from my Jeep as I drove off into the sunrise, My dog sitting next to me, excited to be beginning our adventure. The air was light and the birds sang in harmony, bringing a certain peace to the atmosphere.

Once there we parked and began our journey on foot. As we made our way through the picturesque landscape, I was taken aback by the sheer beauty of the world around me. But then, suddenly, we were jolted out of our zen-like state when he stumbled upon a half-eaten spare rib, carelessly tossed aside by one of the campers. I reached into his mouth and pried it from his teeth – but, alas, not before he had taken a hearty bite of it! I was relieved that the scare seemed to be all for naught, and we continued on in our relentless pursuit for an unforgettable morning.

It was not all smooth sailing. There were those who tried to dampen my spirit by Prohibition-level glares and snide remarks: evidently, these shady characters had mistaken me for some sort of law enforcement officer. That was fine with me – I had my trusty sidekick in tow.

But still, all in all, it was a beautiful morning, and I could feel the power of the positive energy emanating from my music and from nature. As I returned home, my cup brimming with this positive caffeinated energy, I’m ready to see what the rest of the day holds. out

Acid Soak

 

The acid soak was a mild success, though nothing that I should toot my own horn about. I arrived at the Egyptian’s office at 10:15, exhausted from the search for usable parking within the cavernous garage that the gods of the city had provided. I eventually opted for a spot on the rooftop, preferring the challenge of the four-flight descent to the tawdry press of car bodies that occupied the floors below. Having made it inside and having my blood pressure read, the Egyptian declared me free of any onset of diabetes – a happy moment indeed, as Christmas called upon me with its promises of steaks and pies.

Unable to fully fall into complacency, I retired to my abode with a half-jar of ointment the Egyptian recommended to apply to my leg muscles as a part of the acid soak aftercare. So I spent my evening in the purple tint of the room, with the worry of the requirement of filling up my vehicle with gasoline looming in the back corners of mind – one task I would not overlook.

Come morning, I set off with my canine companion to the park at the accord of the searing sun and will make good on applying the ointment. What else will transpire on this day is hard to assess, though I’m sure that the winded canine that meanders with me will be quite happy to enjoy even this small reprieve from the trappings of society. 

Life is rarely so unpredictable as it is when uncanny treatments dot your day. Nevertheless, I believe in the power of their treatment, their promise to return us to health. Here’s to the hope that comes and tomorrow, and to returning to normalcy – however long that may take.

Night Jets

 

Standing here on my balcony, looking out at the twinkling lights of the Los Angeles International Airport flight corridor, I can’t help but think of what it must be like for the brave people aboard the planes coming in, eager for the sense of freedom and fresh starts a trip can bring. To be able to jump in a metal tube and find yourself in a new place many miles away is a freedom I wish I could experience without the subtle fear of weightlessness. The Norms restaurant sign glowing in the night makes me contemplate taking the plunge and buying a ticket – driving the triumvirate of nerve society out and away.

I haven’t taken a trip like that since 1990, and the idea of it still sounds exciting – to climb aboard a black triangle and gain access to the outer limits of my consciousness. But I digress, I can’t help but feel Fixin’ as I observed the planes coming in with that subtle feeling of jealousy coursing through my veins. 

Some may feel this post is a mess, and I suppose, depending on the way you look at it, that could very well be true. But there is also a strange kind of beauty in what I have made, an unadulterated, uncorrected look into the way I see things – and from here, that is all anyone can ask.

Running Thru Conspiracy

Ahh, morning routines. Nothing quite like it, as its a chance to stretch, hit the pavement, and get into the day before the chaos begins anew. This morning, myself and mutt Urt decided to take our daily jaunt around the local park, our stomping grounds. Starting with a few sprints up and down the hillside between the trees and giant mud puddles Urt loves to play in, it gave us a chance to get the heartrate up and get a bit of the natural air in our lungs.

Being in such close contact with nature is a blessing and a curse. Once you get out into the park — and the wild — you never quite know what awaits you — perhaps a nice chat with some other joggers, or even some surprise guests.

This morning, we were greeted with the same familiar face, an elderly woman who I suspect has had suffered some sort of stroke a few years back. She always visits this park like clockwork, a peaceful solace of time tucked away outside of the city. Beyond the park, Urt and I had a sprint through one of the adjacent neighborhoods — and past one particular house I deemed the Conspiracy Theorist Pad.

The house is normal enough but for a car parked in front decked out with media-boxed prophecies caravanning around the sides, a prophet of the dawn warning us of our impending fate. Adorned with phrases like ‘Nukes Coming’ and ‘Virus is 5G 60Ghz,’ I find the whole thing quite fascinating. Honestly, it’s hard to capture with words. Check out the photos below, courtesy of me and Urt’s visit — thx Urt.

In any case, our daily jog/walk is an integral part of my routine, and I’m thankful for Urt to join me on our adventures. Here’s to the morning jogs. Onwards.

Off Hiatus

 

October was a wild ride, and now I’m unbelievably relieved to be finished with it. My beloved dog was struck down with a nasty anal gland infection, and I had to fork over a whopping $3,000 for the emergency surgery he needed. It’s not that the money bothered me too much, I was just so worried and anxious for my little friend. It was a nerve-racking process, but I’m relieved to report that he’s made a full recovery–the stitches have been taken out, and he’s back to frolicking with his usual glee.

Speaking of checkups, it was time for my own bi-annual Merriweather Blood-letting to assess my health–the results have been both good and bad. Good news is that my prostate-specific antigen (PSA) numbers declined along with my cholesterol levels. However, it’s not all roses. My carbon dioxide levels are creeping towards COPD territory, and my bilirubin and glucose levels have both fallen into the danger zones. I’m due to visit the doc next week–The Egyptian, as I call her. She’s a young, exotic looking doctor, though I’ve only seen her eyes through that medical mask. Hopefully she’ll be able to tell me what needs to be done to set things right.

Nonetheless, I’m off on a positive note. I was able to get my CB radio installed back into my Jeep, and my little pup and I can now listen to all the truckers’ banter while out in the wilderness. Until next time. -out.

Mistaken Identity

 

Was out exploring El Dorado Park with my dog this morning when I thought I saw a former friend of mine making his way along the sidewalk as I was leaving.  I put my Jeep into reverse and tooted my horn to get his attention.  I yelled, "Are you Keith?" He responded, no.  Now the funny thing is, he looked a lot like him. I wish it had been him as I sure would have enjoyed saying hello.

As for my photo... It's been changed twice, it is incense burning on my balcony.

Spooky Season

As the world descends into the madness of Halloween, I sit here in my home, my dog Urt by my side, drink in hand. I let the time pass, my thoughts spinning with the anticipation of what awaits us this spooky season. Horror movies, candy, the smell of pumpkin spice — Oh, the joys of October.

I watch the movie

Halloween again and again, taking solace in its traditions, never ceasing to be amazed by its masterful storytelling and inventive evil. With every raid of my liquor cabinet, my mind follows suit, travelling through the realms of monsters, devils, and, of course, pure terror.

I want the world to share in my delight, even if they don’t share my taste in spirits and films. I’ve become a connoisseur, if you will, of escapism, and I’m choosing to adorn my home with goodies and decorations in order to bring a bit of cheer to the sinister days of October. From The Thing, Halloween III to Forbidden Planet, I’m fully immersed in a world of the unknown, an ancient magic-world crafted from science and dreams.

As I take in the sights, sounds, and smells of Halloween, I pass on wanders of seasons to come. Will there be more horror, more terror, more of the unknown? Only God knows. So raise a glass of whiskey and let’s cheers to the spookiest of holidays, and see if we dare, what awaits us down the road.

Arson

 

It’s October 18th, 2023 here in La La Land, and the heat just won’t quit. Ask anyone on the street and they’d tell you our idea of Fall weather is a mild warm breeze. Just as I turned on the news, they gave the report of some madwoman running about in the Sherman Oaks area of LA, setting fire to anything she could find. The police managed to catch up to her once they got her in their sights, the perp reeking of gasoline and a crazed look in her eyes. As always, the usual suspects held up in their usual ways.

Anyway, my wonderfully faithful companion and I decided to head towards Long Beach and check out Deforest Park. It’s supposedly one of the most haunted places in the city besides the Queen Mary; and being right before Halloween, I figured it could be fun. But when we got there the only things we found were homeless, drug-pushers, and a few crazy kids from around the way. We managed to make our way safely through the trails and steps to the edge of the Los Angeles river. It was quite a bewitchingly beautiful sight, with the gentle flow of the river contrasting against the structures and rise of the buildings in the background.

As the day slowly fades, I can safely say I had a great time here in Los Angeles this 18th of October. Until next time…

Day Of Jihad

 

Today is 13 Friday 2023, and the news had arrived – it was a day of Jihad. I had no idea how far and wide reaching this message was, and how much was truly at stake. But that was of no concern to me, for I am an American and I know that as such, I am called to defend our country no matter what the odds.

As I reached for my gun and loaded it, I began to feel a strange sense of eagerness and strength. I have no fear of what may come, I know that I am my own fortress and the only one that can protect my (and my country’s) well-being.

If I am fated to see combat, then I am ready to face it with all that I have. As I look to the horizon, a siren of duty singing in my ears, I am ready to march out into battle.

I am an American, and I will protect what is rightfully mine.

Pushing The Limit

 

Well, what a night it’s been. I got hit with a good ol’ fashioned tinnitus flare-up in my right ear after what can only be described as a stroke-level amount of alcohol consumption.

Lying here in bed, I’m not feeling too hot – the familiar neon blue glow on the wall is a clear reminder of the trouble I’m in – but I’d do the same again in a heartbeat if I could.

My ear is still ringing in pain while my eyes are sandpaper dry. But the ride stands again tomorrow, and I must be prepared to take it as come – with or without my ear.

I’ve passed the level of impulse control and found myself on the brink of the unforeseen. I’ll take the punishment and suffer the next day – that’s a givin.

So now I take a deep breath knowing I’ll right the situation tomorrow, swallow a couple of sleeping pills, and hope that God will guide me through.

I’m here because I love it, and I love it because it’s what I know, and I know enough to know that I should slow down and start taking my time.

Yet here I am, yet another night, wide awake hoping to see another sun rise. But with each passing day, I realize how much I can take.

My mission now is to find the line between loving life and not losing yourself in it. That’s a hard one, but that’s where I’m at – and I know deep down it’s all gonna be alright.

I may have gone a bit too far, but that’s all part of the fun. It’s a juicy little paradox that I’m in love with, and I’m here to stay.

So, until next time, cheers to pushing the limit and the humbling beauty of the consequences.

Night

 Tonight I watched a movie about a human man who rescues and then falls in love with a robot woman. Now, I’ve seen this movie at least six times. Is it possible for a man and a machine to fall in love? Could there be something more than perfunctory appreciation for life-like functions? I’m still not sure. 

This might be the strangest coincidence, but here I am, alone in my bed in Los Angeles. A faint light glows at the back of my television, trickle down the walls with its eerie hues and brief flashes of radiance. When I take two sleeping pills, I hope that sleep will descend upon me quickly. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll escape with my faithful dog for a romp in the park. 

My heart aches for a woman living in Israel—she must have experienced such fear and terror. All I can do is wish and pray for her safety. 

Maybe a woman and a machine will never really be able to fall in love. But, in a way, I’m sure I can relate. After all, my mind wanders in places I can’t comprehend, my emotions take the reins of my actions, and my heart has been broken many times before. Is that not love, too? 

In the end, I’m just a man, just like the one in the movie. He may have been a little bit brighter than me, being able to express his love to a machine, but I guess that’s the beauty of films. Everything can happen.

3:10 PM

 It was that perfect time of day again. A little past 3pm and the world looked like a methodically orchestrated apocalyptic disaster. You could see traces of it in the shadows as the sun had begun to set, radiating a golden-purple halo of Sheol. The nightmares of the truth had already begun to unravel without any safeguards to really lock in the truth. I began to search for that cyberpunk moment where the air shifts and light changes. Where a multitude of viewpoints suddenly burst forth from all kinds of places, all at once. Everything suddenly seemed to pull apart like a prism filled with all the colors of the rainbow with no way to hold them down.

But my attention was quickly snatched in a different direction: Israel was under attack and what these attackers, these swine, were doing was nothing short of soul-crushing. My heart sank at the thought of all the lives being taken and of the citizens of Israel being hurt and traumatized on this Sunday. All I could do was pray and mourn for Israel, that a swift and just victory would be restored to the land.

Shifting back to myself, my own internal landscape, I began to contemplate my next move, my next great thought for The Great Repository of the Future Digital Wasteland. Everything in this wasteland seemed to be spinning out of control and yet there was something thrilling about it. It was like a force of nature that no amount of obstacles could stop. I just had to let go and throw myself and my ideas into the fire.

And with that, I write this down into the repository, onto the ash heap of the future society. May God bless the citizens of Israel and all the other people in this perilous hour. Until later…

Migraine

 

Welcome to Sunday morning in Los Angeles in October. The skies are clear, the sun is hot, the world is in chaos. Israel is at war, the United States is falling apart, and I had a migraine attack– The familiar aura popping up suddenly in my left eye’s vision, menacing and disturbing. All of this and more was enough to send me shuttering my eyes, trying to will away the pain.

No wonder I have migraine attacks—so much of what goes on in the world is just chaos, and our leaders seem content to stick to the old, outdated standards of before. I almost envy the young, who don’t see the consequences that can come from creating a cesspool to live in. I, on the other hand, will cling to my honky paradise for now.

I know it’s time to get up and move, feel the air, and live. Perhaps an ice cold beer or a glass of wine will be in order. But for now, caffeine will do. I’ve already made my espressos and decided to survey my surroundings, contemplating the day.

So here it is, Sunday morning in Los Angeles in October. The skies are clear, the sun is hot, and the world is in chaos. We might as well appreciate the little moments in between, like the peace a good cup of coffee can bring.

In La La Land

 

The day is quickly winding down on this hot La La Land day and that’s probably for the best, after all the heat alone can turn a man’s brain into jelly and that won’t do anymore. I was tempted by the bottle but reasoned that dealing with a brutal hangover tomorrow just wasn’t worth it – I have to think of the future and of the possibilities I seek in it. The news had my attention, Israel is under attack, could this be the big war that the ancient prophets had predicted? A brilliant thought struck me but it was tempered by the fact that I was in this very moment wasting away in my office with nothing but a loyal canine companion to keep me company.

It was then that I remembered the Power Computer – the one big thing that could make any life easier and allow one to be a part of something bigger. Typing out my musings and forming the words seemed to help the fog of an overwhelming day start to lift. I took to my keyboard, allowing the words to spill out of my brain and onto the screen. I had no grand agenda or target audience in mind, but it seemed like a noble exercise. As my musings were coming to an end, the skies erupted with cyberpunk orange and purple as the sun prepared to surrender to the night.

Once upon a time I had come up with an excellent phrase, ‘The Great Repository of the Future Digital Wasteland’, and I jotted it down in my notebook. Even though this innovation was still eons away, I felt a surge of inspiration coursing through me even as the sun began its descent, and in the flicker of the fading light of day I could already make out the picture of what was to come, of a cyberpunk orange glow bouncing off of the buildings in my neighborhood. It was good, that feeling of anticipation that the future is sure to bring, and with a sigh of contentment I settled back into my chair until next time. Out in La La Land.

Mid Day

 

Another scorching day in Los Angeles. The air is thick with the smell of cigarettes and marijuana, just like every other day in this town. I walk towards my mailbox with my loyal dog following close behind. Nothing had arrived yet, but I’m expecting a package, perhaps my tactical knife and taser gun that I had ordered. I need to stay alert in this rough city.

My dog has been with me for the last three years and during that time. We had been through a lot – Fender benders at red lights, scary run-ins with dangerous dogs, and beautiful sunrises in the meadows by the lake.

But despite it all, we still come back. We love the chaos of this city, its relentless energy and unwavering heartbeat. We don’t know what we’ll face today, but all that matters is that we are here and ready to take on what comes our way.

Heatwave

 

As I step out onto my searing hot balcony, I can feel the sunlight burning through my shirt. I look down at the motionless street below and smell the putrid scent of air conditioning and car fumes. The shadows of cars and buildings cast their evil silhouettes against the slowly darkening orange sky and a hot wind kicks up aluminum canisters from the nearby dumpsite. Despite the oppressive heat, I lit some incense and enjoyed the moment with my dog by my side. I have already made my health drink, a concoction of carrots, cucumber, apple and celery mixed with protein and vitamin powder, and I tentatively sip at it, hoping I might find some energy or reserve in its contents. Fall is officially here yet the sun still burns down, and more heat is sure to come. As the weekend approaches, I reflect on life in Los Angeles, and as the day dims I take in the stillness and silence of the despairing city.

Penpals

 

Well, I thought I’d give it a shot; take a risk and give that stupid social media experiment one final try. It just seemed like a good idea at the time, if a little lonesome.

I signed up for “interpals”, a pen pal site on a whim and waited for the responses to come rolling in. What kind of friendships would I make?

But, after six days spent on the site, nothing had come of it. All I had seen were scammers from Nigeria, setting up fake profiles, ready to pounce on someone gullible. It was a total bust.

I maneuvered my way through the online rat race; dodging the scammers and ducking from the schmucks. Once the seventh day arrives (the day I can officially delete my account), the only thing left to do is run like hell.

The great social media experiment has nearly ended for me. As much as I’m glad to be rid of the site and the scammers, it’s a bit disappointing that nothing came from the experience.

Ah well, so much for pen pals in 2023.

Routine

 

I open my eyes, the break of dawn staring back. My weiner dog that I’d won off a drunken tourist in downtown Los Angeles is barking at me to take him to the park. He’s already laced up his running shoes, just like mine, and is ready to set out for a nice morning jog. (Just kidding about the drunken tourist thing, I purchased him from a Breeder). As we motored slowly toward our destination the morning sun was rising, giving a hint of the glorious heat and brightness to come.

We hit the steamy grassy hills and both of us bound around the miniature lakes like excited puppies. My dog is beside himself today, so full of excitement and energy as he yelps with joy and I take in a deep breath of the morning air. We sprint, jog and stop to explore every single mole hill and unusual blade of grass. My lungs burn but it feels good or at least I convince myself that it does.

The sun begins to rise and I catch a glimpse of a familiar face. It’s my friend Dan, the Vietnam veteran I’d met over the past year, we share small updates and stories and complain like old men do about how awful things have become. He walks his Siberian Husky every morning too, around the same time my dog and I do and it’s become a nice habit of sorts as we meet briefly and go our own way. We both give a wave and I prepare to head back home.

As I leave my dog climbs into his usual spot on my lap, his head sticking out the window. We join the morning rush of cars, packed with people off to their corporate jobs. What was usually a 10 minute drive turns into a 30-minute snarl of horn honking, anxiety-filled eyes, and gridlock.

Finally, we make it back home. As my dog scampers off, ready to tackle another day I take an ice cold shower before curling up with a mug of coffee. I open the balcony doors and sit back, sipping the dark elixir of life. As the world comes alive, I’m reminded of how grateful I am to start another day.

Sulfur

5:30 AM – The air was thick with the foul smell of sulfur in Los Angeles this morning. For a moment, I was in panic mode, wondering if there was a gas leak in my neighborhood. I quickly emerged from my house with my canine companion and started walking around to inspect my area.

Of course, most gas companies in the U.S. add a pungent odorant to otherwise odorless gas so we can easily detect leaks. Thankfully, it became apparent that this odor wasn’t just confined to my neighborhood. As we made our rounds, I noticed that the miasma was everywhere in my city, from the street corners to the plants and even as far as the park. This discovery put my mind at rest: it was just the usual sulfuric smell that can often permeate the Los Angeles air. Thankfully, my house was safe from any looming explosion. With my mind at ease, I proceeded to take my dog for a walk.

I kept my eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary – namely, signs of the devil himself. No cloven hoof prints or pitchfork lying about, however. For better or for worse, the sulfuric smell seemed to dissipate as quickly as it had come. And with that, another morning in Los Angeles passed, and I continued my morning stroll with my faithful canine companion.

Monday

 

The heat of the SoCal sun woke me before the break of dawn, and I beelined out the door in pursuit of some sort of normalcy in an otherwise chaotic world. My four-legged comrade, a Dachshund 3 years of age, bounded by my side with pure joy, unencumbered by the state of the world. We traversed fields, orchards, and ponds for miles — somewhere short of paradise, seeking some sort of haven from the toils of the day that had yet to come. Our pace was steady, gradually picking up as more miles were conquered, until finally the devilish heat of the Los Angeles morning chased us back to our starting line.

Stomping around the living room post-run, I checked my various blogs and forums for any activity, never quite sure what I was looking for. But when I knew I had found something, I never found it; nevertheless, I pressed on, my purposeful aimlessness my solace.

Just then, a reminder came from the State Lab that an observation of the water sample pull at 1 PM had Brewed for me; I glanced at the clock, stamping it as 11:45. Nothing much going on, I thought to myself, so I opted for a bit of respite, curling up on the softest corner of my divan for some midday solace. Before I knew it, an hour had passed, and I was off, having made the appointment in good time. I met with the lab technician in full greyscale getup and waited, my eyes restless.

That being done, I had the rest of the day to myself, and I my first thought was to find my activity of choice. however, I was quickly reminded that October in Los Angeles was never quite bonafidely good for seasonal weather. Today was a mild chill, but the weatherman told me heat was on its way again; my thoughts soured as I knew that tomorrow would bring no change to the status quo.

Still, I tried to make the best out of the day I had, but my efforts were ultimately subdued by my knowledge that I had wasted yet another day that could have been better used elsewhere. With a heavy sigh, I reverted to my aimless wanderings, maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Vaccinated

 

The streets of La La Land gleamed in the autumnal sun. It reminded me of one of those vivid nightmares Paxil users experience– a world lovingly cloaked in yellow fear. But this was no nightmare, and the feeling in the air was anything but pleasant as I drove down the avenue headed for Walmart for the entire street was blocked off by the electric company at work on the lines, so I had to do some slick negotiating to get my ass out of there.

Arriving at Walmart I realized a new power had taken hold; a power of time-travel, supported by modern-day medicine. Within the confines of the pharmacy, a pale-faced pharmacist in a crisp white lab coat presided over a pseudo-religious altar of vials containing the latest Covid drug; Moderna Spike Vax 306F34B.

“We have here the most potent Moderna drugs known to man,” he said, looking me square in the eye. “Which arm would like it injected into?”

His voice had the tone of one long accustomed to the grave implications of such a decision: a right arm for protection, a left for pleasure and gain. I chose the latter, without hesitation.

“Right on!” I replied, knowing that the injection of Moderna into my left arm may be the only thing standing between me and a hellish night in La La Land. He nodded approvingly and I felt his needle sink into my bone. The sensation was fleeting and unusually pleasurable, like a splash of 30 weight motor oil on a sweltering summer day.

When I returned home, I lit some incense to mark the occasion with an air of serenity. Little did I know that what lay ahead for La La Land would be far from tranquil– it was a journey that would both test my resolve and remind me of the power of modern medicine.

‘Well, it’s not your typical rolling adventure out here in L.A., let me tell you that much. I pull up to my abode, and sure enough, somebody thought they’d go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill; my drive was completely closed off by some sort of construction work. I wasn’t in the mood to fight it, so I skulked about a bit until I found an opening to slip through, then took off on foot with my mongrel beast, heading straight for the nearest park.

Our five hours at the park came and went, and I felt no worse for wear, no wicked fever or dry heaves. Truly a blessing. As night began to settle in, I washed it all down with a healthy dose of vitamins, some Krill oil, and plenty of good ol’ H2O. Just another day in LaLa Land, nothing to write home about. At least no one was getting killed… this time.